These books about consent for kids will help make a daunting subject easier to discuss. Check out our list of favorites!
Consent for Kids … and Why Books Help!
Teaching kids about consent sounds daunting, I know. The mere suggestion of broaching this topic with children is enough to give any parent pause.
When should this conversation begin? How young is too young to begin talking about consent? And does teaching consent mean teaching kids about… gasp… sex?!
Breathe.
It’s a tough conversation for any parent to broach, that’s for sure. But we all have a duty to teach kids about consent, and the earlier the better.
Consent for kids doesn’t have to be a “mature” topic. And here’s why.
Says Katey Howes, author of the brilliant Rissy no Kissies, “many of us were brought up to associate the word [consent] first and foremost with sex and dating and even … assault. We think it’s too adult for kids. Too scary or icky. But we have to change that misconception; consent is so much more universal than that. Consent is about respect and autonomy. If we start teaching early on that consent means we all have the right to determine what happens to our own bodies and that we all must respect others’ wishes about their bodies, suddenly, it’s not a mature or controversial topic anymore. It’s common sense.”
Yes. It’s common sense to teach kids about bodily autonomy. It is also common sense to teach kids that they must always, always respect how others want to be touched, hugged, held or not touched, hugged or held at all.
This, in no way, can be deemed too mature or “tough” for young kids.
But how do we do this? How do we teach consent to kids?
These Children’s Books About Consent Will Make Your Life Easier!
This list contains terrific books about consent for kids, with each offering a perfect segue to begin these conversations at home. With topics and plots appropriate for children of all ages, the right book for your family can definitely be found here.
And the earlier you start sharing these stories with little ones, the better.
Special thanks to my good friend and author pal Howes for her wonderful insight and help putting together this list of children’s books about consent. Happy reading!
RELATED: We’ve got all of the best children’s books for you on Happily Ever Elephants, so make sure to check ’em out!
The Best Books About Consent for Kids
When ladybug gets ready for a trip, she wants to say goodbye to all of her friends. But do all of ladybug’s friends want to receive hugs? Perfect for the littlest readers, your 2-4 year olds! This one is sweet and simple. It lets you know that not everyone wants to touch and show affection in the same way, and that is absolutely ok.
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This is a darling story about a lovebird who does not like to be kissed. In fact, she squeaks emphatically, “no kissies!” if another bird tries to get too close! This causes drama among the other affectionate birds, and this huge chasm setting her apart from the other lovebirds makes Rissy feel weird too. When Rissy talks to her mother, mom imparts a valuable message: “Your body and your heart are yours, and you choose how to share./ You get to pick the ways you want to show us that you care.” This is a perfect book about consent for kids and a wonderful story to introduce the concept of bodily autonomy to children of all ages.
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Doug doesn’t like to hug anyone – not Frankensteins or porcupines or valentines. Hugs, after all, are too squeezy and squishy and smooshy. But how do you know when someone doesn’t want a hug? Just ask! Says Howes, “Doug’s comfort with not wanting to be hugged makes it easy for everyone to talk about their own preferences and boundaries without it getting tense or awkward. It reinforces the message that the best way to find out if someone likes hugs is to ASK!”
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Daisy is a fluffy, cute chick, and everyone wants to pet and squeeze her! The problem? Daisy doesn’t want to be hugged and squeezed. After all, she is more than fluff – she has real substance, too!I Can she ask for space without hurting her friends’ feelings? This is another great book to discuss boundaries with kids, and they really relate to this one. We love the way Daisy uses her voice to show her friends that being cute doesn’t mean others have an automatic right to cuddle and squish her. Daisy learns to make her boundaries clear and to ensure everyone knows she is more than fluff!
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People always want to touch Aria’s beautiful hair. And not just people – mermaids and aliens and monkeys, too! Soon, Aria has enough and readers learn the importance of asking permission. Don’t Touch My Hair does an amazing job of giving kids a prime example of ways people – including adults – cross boundaries without thinking about it. And it backs that up by showing that it is always acceptable to set boundaries and to use your voice to communicate them, no matter your age.
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Is it possible to give too many hugs? In an exploration of compassion and boundary setting, Hug? makes it clear that you can give love and share hugs with one friend…or two… and then, when you’re done giving, you can stop – no matter how many others want hugs. Why? Because you get to decide these things for yourself. No guilt needed – and you won’t end up friendless, either. Yes, hugs make us happy, but they aren’t always welcome and that’s perfectly ok.
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This book is a little more direct in getting its message across, but kids really relate to it. It’s Miles’ sixth birthday, and though he is excited for his celebration, he is also frustrated by all the hugging and tickling and touching. Children enjoy watching Miles stand up to his family and friends while communicating his own preferences, too. This is a clear, straightforward story with energetic illustrations, and it serves as a great conversation starter.
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Kai is a mer-boy who adores hugs and squishes. But not everyone in his undersea world wants a squish, and he even makes a puffer fish swell with fright due to his overly affectionate ways! Leave it to his friends to help Kai show others he cares, with fin-bumps and tentacle shakes, no less. This cute book is a great introduction to boundaries and consent for kids who sometimes share love over-enthusiastically. It is terrific for teaching children that everyone has their own preferred way of being greeted. Kids will love chanting along with the story, “every fish likes their own kind of squish!”
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In this wonderful book for your littlest readers, Deja and her preschool friends begin to build emotional self awareness by listening to their bodies’ physical cues. This is a great title to start a conversation about how we all intuitively know and understand what situations make us feel comfortable or uncomfortable. It teaches kids, through relatable school-day situations, to pay attention to things like breathing and other bodily sensations to help them understand if they are feeling nervous, excited, worried, scared, or happy. It also contains excellent back matter to help parents and caregivers guide these conversations.
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Henry is the littlest in his family, and his mom and dad, brother and sister love to do everything for him. They brush his teeth, choose his clothes, and even help him eat. One day, Henry has had enough! Just because he’s little doesn’t mean he can’t do things for himself. Henry sets boundaries and exerts his own autonomy…until it’s time for someone to tuck him in, that is. Such a fun read!
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This smart and fun guide is excellent for the 8-12 year old crowd. With comic-like illustrations, engaging voice, relatable situations, and lots of humor, it helps tweens recognize that the ideas of respect, boundaries and consent are truly common sense. Not only does it talk about and teach how to set boundaries and keep them, but it also discusses respect, what to do if someone makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, and what it means to be in control of your body. Absolutely love this one!
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Consent for Teenagers
This book is great for teenage readers who need to learn and understand what it means to give and get consent, and how consent is linked to self esteem. Covering a broad range of topics from how we greet one another to how we say no to things to how we communicate and respect choices in relationships, this guide gives great tools to teens to help them navigate the sometimes tricky and turbulent waters of personal agency while being a teenager.
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This list came right on time! Thank you!