• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Baby + Toddler (0-2)
  • Pre-K (3-5)
  • Beginning Readers (6-7)
  • Growing Readers (7-9)
  • Tweens (10-12)
Happily Ever Elephants
Happily Ever Elephants

Happily Ever Elephants

The Best Kids Books Found Here!

  • Home
  • Book Lists
  • Winter Books!
  • About
  • Home
  • Baby + Toddler (0-2)
  • Pre-K (3-5)
  • Beginning Readers (6-7)
  • Growing Readers (7-9)
  • Tweens (10-12)
Books by Theme » Life Skills » Rissy No Kissies is a Must Have Book About Consent

Rissy No Kissies is a Must Have Book About Consent

By Lauren Bercuson ·  Published: May 12, 2021 ·  Modified: Sep 5, 2022 ·  This post may contain affiliate links

Rissy No Kissies is the perfect book to begin talking to children about consent. This is a must-have for your shelves!

*This post contains affiliate links.

Rissy-No-Kissies

Rissy No Kissies is a gift to parents and educators!

If you want to have a conversation with your kids about affection and consent but don’t know where to begin, welcome to your new best book-friend. Rissy No Kissies, written by Katey Howes and illustrated by Jess Engle, is a must have for your collections!

Rissy No Kissies is the sweet story of a lovebird who is quite different from others. Why? This little bird does not like to be kissed!

RELATED: Looking for more of our favorite stories? Check out our awesome lists of all the best children’s books!
Rissy-No-Kissies-1

Though lovebirds typically enjoy affection, Rissie is not a fan. In fact, she squeaks emphatically, “no kissies!” if another bird tries to get too close! This, as you can imagine, causes lots of drama among the other affectionate birds. After all, lovebirds love kisses. They are lovebirds, for goodness sake! Poor Rissie is confused.

Rissy-No-Kissies-2

Rissy isn’t the only one left in a tizzy. No one understands Rissy’s frenzy when it comes to being on the receiving end of a little kiss. Maybe Rissy’s sick? Or maybe she just doesn’t understand the rest of her family and friends? Perhaps – eek! – she is simply a mean little lovebird?

Rissy-No-Kissies-5

Poor Rissy tries to tell those around her that she simply isn’t comfortable with kisses, yet this huge chasm setting her apart from the other lovebirds makes her awfully upset. Kisses don’t just make Rissy feel weird, but worried and wrong too.

When Rissy finally finds the courage to talk to her mother, mom imparts the most valuable message. She tells Rissy:

“Your body and your heart are yours, and you choose how to share./ You get to pick the ways you want to show us that you care.”

Rissy-No-Kissies-6
Check out Rissy No Kissies on Amazon and Bookshop!

Rissy No Kissies is parenting gold!

Rissy No Kissies is a gem for making a tough topic easier to discuss. It gives parents an easy, gentle way to begin teaching kids about the importance of consent and bodily autonomy. Not only do people have different ways of showing affection, but we all want to receive affection in ways that makes us feel good. This is not – and will not – be the same for all people.

We’re all guilty of telling our kids to give grandma a kiss hello or an uncle a hug goodbye. Yet, we need to stop this behavior. Affection is not a one size fits all proposition. Rissy No Kissies reminds us to be cognizant of this. It helps children and adults alike recognize they do not need to participate in expected “normal” behaviors that make them feel uncomfortable.

Rissy No Kissies also includes fantastic back matter for both children and caregivers. For children, the information is relevant but sensitive. From teaching kids that their bodies are their own and they decide how to touch and be touched, to using their voices to say “l don’t like that,” Howes gives practical information with a perfect, light touch.

For the caregiver, Rissy No Kissies provides thoughtful insight on bodily autonomy, consent, boundaries and sensory processing. I love the notion of “ask and respect” (ask what touch a child prefers, and respect the answer). Most importantly, I love the way the back matter helps caregivers teach even the youngest of children that “stop” and “no” are key words to help kids effectively communicate boundaries.

A Chat with Rissy No Kissies’ Author, Katey Howes

Upon the publication of Rissy No Kissies, I spoke with the book’s brilliant author, Katey Howes, for a short Q& A session. What an honor! Some of our discussion follows.

Q: Consent is a tough subject. It’s one many writers are scared to tackle and parents are nervous to discuss. What made you decide to write a picture book on this topic?

A: Rissy No Kissies didn’t actually start with “consent,” so much as it did with affection. 

I have three kids who all show affection in very different ways. One will hug and snuggle and kiss all day long. One does not like to be touched much at all, but makes songs, stories and art to show she cares. And one will curl up beside you for hours, but can’t stand kisses. 

At first, as a new parent, I worried about this. I wondered if I was doing something wrong, or if there was something wrong with my kids. Those weren’t great thoughts or feelings to have, and as I dug into them, I realized that there was no good reason to think or feel them. The research is clear: it is absolutely normal for people to like and dislike different types of touch. 

And why wouldn’t it be? We like different music, different colors, different foods. Of course we like different touches! We’ve just been socialized to accept certain ones as normal, or even required, when that’s not really healthy – or fair. 

I realized there were many other parents and caregivers like me, who needed that message reinforced. And even more so, we needed a way to communicate it to kids! Kids need to know unequivocally that there is nothing wrong with turning down a hug, or disliking a kiss, or saying no to tickles. Children deserve to be given love and to give love in the ways that feel best to them. 

Q: Why did you decide to use anthropomorphic animal characters rather than people in Rissy No Kissies?

A: I really appreciate this question! All my other published books, and most of what I write, feature human characters. I think it’s vitally important for readers to see themselves in books. But for this story, my editor and I knew we were exploring deep and difficult emotions. There are moments where the main character, Rissy, feels rejected and misunderstood by the people she cares about most. That is a LOT for a young child to process and relate to. 

We wanted kids to be able to come back to the story again and again, to find comfort and agency in it . But this meant we needed to balance the discomfort with positive elements. Using lovebirds rather than human characters provides both cuteness (I mean, come ON, they are SO adorable!) and emotional distance. The rhyme and repetition also give kids comfort, by providing a sense of predictability and control.  

Q: What would you say to parents who believe their kids are “too young” for this type of book about consent, or who believe this subject isn’t appropriate for our youngest readers?

A: Here’s the thing – we keep saying consent is a tough topic, or a mature topic, because many of us were brought up to associate the word first and foremost with sex and dating and even rape and assault. We think it’s too adult for kids. Too scary or icky.  But we have to change that misconception; consent is so much more universal than that. 

Consent is about respect and autonomy. If we start teaching early on that consent means we all have the right to determine what happens to our own bodies and that we all must respect others’ wishes about their bodies, suddenly, it’s not a mature or controversial topic anymore. It’s common sense. 

If we can raise a generation of kids who feel comfortable communicating their boundaries, that’s going to build healthier relationships from childhood to adulthood.

If we can raise kids who ask before they touch, that’s going to create safer spaces in school, work, and the community. 

Finally, if we can raise kids who don’t feel guilty or conflicted or left out when their preferences are different from those of parents, friends, or loved ones, that’s going to build self-esteem and comfort. 

Teaching consent – that can change the world. 

Q: How do you think RISSY NO KISSIES will empower children and families?

I think Rissy No Kissies shows children that people show love in their own ways, and there is no one right or wrong way to do so. It reinforces that they can use their voice to communicate their preferences and boundaries. And it makes it clear that the best way to know what someone likes is to ask – and respect the answer! Together, those messages give kids a sense of autonomy – a recognition that they are in charge of their bodies!  It takes away any feelings of guilt or obligation to show love in an “accepted” way, and it teaches them to treat others with the same consideration. For families, this allows for much more open communication and supportive, accepting relationships. 

Thank you, Katey!!
To purchase Rissy No Kissies, click on the links below!
RELATED: For more information on talking with children about consent, we encourage you to check out Safe Secure Kids.
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Email

3-4

« Previous PostAsian American Children's Books Your Family Needs Now!
Next Post »Brother's Keeper is an Astonishing Debut Book by Julie Lee!

OTHER POSTS YOU MAY LIKE:

  • 3-4

    New Favorite Children's Book: The Neighbors!
  • the-book-of-mistakes

    3-4

    The Book of Mistakes is a Must-Have for Little Perfectionists!
  • The cover of 4 children's books about gratitude with a thank you note.

    3-4

    Children's Books About Gratitude to Read All Year!

Never Miss a Happily Ever Elephants Newsletter!

Join our community and discover 28 Unforgettable Books to Make Storytime Magical and Meaningful.

Thank you for subscribing!

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Welcome to Happily Ever Elephants!

Lauren

Hi! I’m Lauren. I’m a boy mom, former attorney, current elementary school librarian, and moderator of book clubs for kids around the country. My goal is to make storytime with your children both magical and meaningful. Welcome! LEARN MORE 

AS FEATURED IN

Good Housekeeping

Winter Books!

10+ Valentine’s Day Books for Kids!

The Cutest Children’s Books About Penguins

The Best Lunar New Year Read-Aloud Books!

The Best New Year Read-Alouds

SEE ALL WINTER BOOKS!

Popular Posts

kindergarten-read-alouds

These Kindergarten Read Alouds Will Wow Kids!

The covers of 9 of the best books for 10 year olds.

The Best Books for 10-Year-Olds To Excite Your Kids!

The cover of Gossie with some rubber ducks, a great book for 2 year olds.

The Best Books for 2-Year-Olds Your Reader Will Love!

beginning-reader-books

The Ultimate List of the Best Books for Beginning Readers!

JOIN OUR BOOK CLUB

Browse by Age

BABY + TODDLER (0-2)
PRE-K (3-5)
BEGINNING READER (6-7)
GROWING READER (7-9)
TWEENS (10-12)

before footer form

Don't Miss a Book!

Join our community and discover 28 Unforgettable Books to Make Storytime Magical and Meaningful.

Thank you for subscribing!

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
Make Storytime Magical and Meaningful with these 28 Unforgettable Books! DOWNLOAD

browse by age!

0-23-45+6-77-910-12

Looking to help your child develop their social and emotional skills?

Download our 8 Week Guide!

Suggested Grade Level: Pre-K - 3rd DOWNLOAD NOW

Archives

  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • October 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016

Categories

  • 0-2
  • 10-12
  • 3-4
  • 5+
  • 6-7
  • 7-9
  • All Book Lists
  • Animals
  • Anti-Bullying
  • Award Winners
  • Back to School
  • Bedtime
  • Black Children's Books
  • Combat Bias
  • Concept Books
  • Confidence
  • Diversity
  • Emotions
  • Empathy
  • Fall Books
  • Family
  • Featured Books by Age
  • Featured Books by Theme
  • Featured Children's Book Reviews
  • Friendship
  • Funny
  • Growth Mindset
  • Halloween
  • Holidays
  • Imagination
  • Interactive
  • Jewish Books
  • LGBQT
  • Life Skills
  • Life Transitions
  • Non Fiction
  • Own Voices
  • Playing Preschool Book Lists
  • Popular Posts
  • Raising Readers
  • Social Justice
  • Special Interests & Hobbies
  • Spring Books
  • STEM
  • Summer Books
  • Thanksgiving
  • Uncategorized
  • Winter books
  • Winter Holidays
  • Wordless

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Join 70k+ Instagram Followers

Find even more great book recommendations with the @happily.ever.elephants Instagram community!
Join more than 70k+ parents for more tips, recommendations and reviews.

Footer

Don’t miss a single book.

Join our community and discover 28 Unforgettable Books to Make Storytime Magical and Meaningful.

Thank you for subscribing!

Buy the Books

The best virtual book clubs for kids. Why read alone when we can read together?

JOIN NOW!
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2025 ·  Happily Ever Elephants LLC ·  Review Policies & Disclosures ·  Accessibility ·  SITE CREDITS

0 shares